The Good, The Bad & The Good?
It's been well over a month since my last post and a lot has happened. The good, the bad and the ugly…
Today is a rainy day in Oslo but the air is thick with humidity. We have celebrated this last week The Bean's 3rd birthday! A huge milestone for our small babe, who is now officially out of nappies and into underwear. It's a huge achievement on all our parts but she takes the cake, super proud Mamma right here.
I got myself a job, with the help of a family friend, working as a receptionist in the city. Oh, and I have to speak Norwegian, initially in the start I was in full panic mode (perhaps still am, or is that the anxiety tricking me?) But now it's settling down plus I've got fantastic colleagues who make it easier at work. Okay, shall we get to the nitty-gritty and lay the scene for y'all as to why I've been MIA for the past month?
So went for the job interview end of April and got the job on the spot, was offered to start the next day. Feeling excited and freaked out that I managed to do a whole interview in Norwegian and getting the job, I said yes. Didn't think about the fact that I still had my Norwegian classes to navigate around but kinda, sorta threw them in the bin and started working. Having only 5 months of actual Norwegian language studies and working in a job that requires the language, I felt highly incompetent and out of my depth. Literally drowning in the deep. So feeling stressed and anxious with work, having to plan our wedding (left it so last minute, now currently struggling with organising final details like hair, makeup etc…), being a parent, being in a relationship, having no community here in Norway, missing Norwegian classes, feeling ever so frustrated. You get it, yeah?
Side break: my fiancé (ohhh feels so good to say that) and I have been attending couples therapy for the past few months as we feel it's great to workshop our frustrations and get things out. Its a plus that it works for us, no shame in talking it all out and it definitely brings us closer. I also attend my own private therapy sessions, helps to figure out how I can manage living here. So we’re working on it together as well as separately! Can’t imagine how hard it must be for him at times to see his partner so down and out.
Lots of tears, desperation and frustration … Went through all the motions but slowly improving one day at a time. Looking forward to our wedding as well as focusing on the great things in my life right now. Like:
The Bean is happy and really enjoying her life. She’s growing into such a strong-headed little girl (wonder where she gets that from?), life in daycare is pretty sweet for her and we’ve just celebrated her 3rd b-day! It’s awesome to see my kid so happy, she really is a cool little person.
My man and I will be walking down the aisle in less than a month and saying yes to life together.
I DO have a great support network here in Oslo, just hard to see when anxiety is clouding my sight.
My siblings and foster mums arrive this month from Down Under!
We're currently apartment hunting to buy our first apartment!!
I've got a job, working in Norwegian (a language I've only studied for 5 months!) And am really enjoying it. Despite all the little breakdowns and anxieties from time to time…
Plus I still get to attend my Norwegian classes, work has been super kind to figure it out with me so I can have both a job and school.
Life is pretty fucking fantastic, it's just tough when mental wellbeing is on a low and convinces you-you're not deserving of it all… but here I am, giving it my best every day! To help push myself a little further too I've been using a couple apps, meditating each day and reading a fantastic book about habits and systems. I'll post a monthly reads blog later this week to share with you all.
I hope you feel caught up, I sure do! Life can be hectic but it's important to focus on the good in it.
After all, we're a tiny speck in the entire universe!
Do you meditate, have a daily ritual you do or routines that help organise you a little better? Share below!