The Family we Choose
I really wanted to make a post about this for a while because I’m having to revisit one of the worst parts of my childhood: making friends (again). I’ve been to 13 different schools during my 13 years of schooling, I’ve had to repeat grade 4 and completely skipped grade 8 and went to grade 9! Shit was crazy weird but of course all due to the different rules of the states in Australia and not to mention my crazy upbringing. Yes I’ve had to make friends countless times growing up and given that I’ve done it so many times, it’s still incredibly hard to make friends. I feel like when you’re 8 years old there is no pressure to impress or cliques (except in high school) to try to fit into. It was so easy and simple but now I feel like it’s a totally different game, I mean especially cause I’m living in a country where none of my childhood friends are, or high school friends, sports friends… you get it.
Having to start anew has been hard but I have always been a social person, and so, in reality, it hasn’t been so difficult. I guess what I’m trying to get at is the uncomfortableness of the whole thing. Don’t get me wrong I’m incredibly happy with the friends I have made here in Norway but it’s kind of weird because really I have to start from the beginning and I feel sometimes there isn’t a lot to relate about. I mean I can’t be like ‘Hey remember that time in high school when we did this and that and then whatshername ended up hooking up with blah?’, of course not but I’m just really missing the nostalgia and really want that relationship with my friends here. So far I’ve got friends who’ve had relationships with my man’s friends, friends from sport, friends from The Bean’s daycare, friends who are also from Australia but are living here in Norway and friends from family relationships (but they’re family). You’d think that’s enough right, I have to say though that at times I’m a shitty friend, I fall through with plans, ignore texts/calls and I don’t reach out nearly enough as I should.
Side break: I remember in high school that I was part of the ‘black girls’ group (Polynesian girls, Aboriginal girls and of course our token white girl) and my god how stereotypical is that shit, for real! But I had other interests in high school, I was a ‘floater’, one day I was with the ‘black girls’ the next with the ‘plastics’ (yes, like Mean Girls), then there was the drama/music girls that I hung out with, fuck they were a great bunch of girls and there were the sporty girls. I did a lot of track in school. So yeah all these cliques were happening and I resented it, I remember my best friend who was part of the ‘plastics’ group said to me ‘why are you hanging out with them, they’re losers’ … I died because I adored this chick, she’s still my best girlfran today! But the nonsense coming outta her mouth was the reason I was a ‘floater’. She’s all grown out of that now guys, at least I hope so.
I have to say since coming from Sydney to Oslo I’m incredibly grateful for all the people who have opened their arms and have embraced me for who I am, flaws and all. It’s been tough with not having my tidda’s (Aboriginal women call each other this, just means sister) around me, they knew me inside and out and were a huge support for me. Making new relationships can be challenging but I’m determined to find my people here in Norway! If you know people wanting a new friend, hit me up, send me their way and I promise even though I’m a crazy over-sharer, I can be cool.